I went to Rhs this morning; I wanted to be with my Home for the very last time, before I actually leave it. At the midst of my satisfaction, I saw the very person I can’t believe I would see. Not there, not in the place where she said she’s not around.

Although my mind pushes me away, my heart was like a negative charge finding her opposing mate. The force brings me to her. This person who once become my teacher, my Friend (I suppose so), my mother (I wish), suddenly became an ogre to my eyes. When I come next to her, I felt like I was pushed away. Like her positive charged ion swiftly become negative repelling my force. It was like I’ve invited myself to a place where nobody expects me to be, I feel disowned.

And the very question that lingers me is WHY? Why does she have to lie, why? I asked her if she’s there and she says no. But why? Doesn’t she want to see me? I was so foolish to set my mind that she misses me the way I do miss her.

I wanted to scream and tell her that it hurts. Like a raging car at the middle of the night, my heart was wallop on the wall. Every pieces dispersed and I can’t find each of the. Is everything a hoax, her waves, her smiles, are they genuine. If it’s not… well she’s been a good actress.

After being true to her, she’s been my inspiration, my very reason to haul out my best. I just thought she like me to be around, that she never wanna lose me, but everything is a mistakes, everything that she says maybe a mere lie. She molded my brain to believe that she loves me and she cares for me. But I was fooled.

sana lang mali ako. sana tama ang mga excuses na ibinigay ng friends ko. sana totoo sya. sana hinde lang ako nanaginip. sana HINDE NA LANG SYA NAGREPLY.

Ayoko pa ring mawala s’ya 😦

~ ni tina sa Hunyo 10, 2008.

17 Tugon to “Very”

  1. okhei ahh…….
    hmmm…ate tinz, tama kah naman ehh….
    it really hurts.,!!!!!!

  2. Nice post.

  3. it wasnt nice. nasaktan na nga e nice ka pa dyan.

  4. Wah. Nag-iba ng theme. Nagulat tuloy ako. Hehe. Paramdam naman…

  5. why not talk to her? mas maganda pa rin na magka usap kayo esp since if you care for her.

  6. Superpaurong: sensya na po di ako nakakapagcomment. pero binabasa ko mga post mo pramizz. lahat sila fantastic>)

    kengkay: parang ang hirap po kasing gawin non e, she step in my pride…. twice. di po ba too much na kung magpapakababa pa ako ng 3rd time. but yah i really do care for her. ALOT!

  7. hmmmm… hirap nga nyan. hirap pang hindi ayos ang communication. ok lang yan. just hold on tight and things will fall on the right places.

  8. sino yan? mam ana again???

    nakita ko nga pala kayo nung june 11 ni carlyn. naglalakad kayo sa may rhs. papunta ako nun s interview ko.

  9. Wow, salamat. Napangiti ako dun.

  10. Nakatambay. Post ka naman.

  11. if you care for her a lot and you think you could give her a third chance, why not then? kung third chance e wala talaga, you better keep the memories and let go of the person.

  12. ifoundme: wahahaha salamat po sa advice.
    may communicatrion namn po kame eh.kya nga i tot were fyn.not until the stupid lie came to be.

    grace; yah. nakakasawa na no?
    dont worry bakanag oover react lang ako.

    Superpaurong: next tym,,,,.. pag my tym

    Kenkay; salamat po mg marame… bibigyan ko pa po sya ng chance. pro not now…. my kailangan pa ko patunayan. yes. gumaganon.

  13. ow em gee. english! nosebleed!
    wala tuloy ako masabi. wafakels!

  14. Eloiski: danun a.. next tym itatranslate ko sa tagalog para hinde ka duguin, maya makunan ka ako pa may kasalanan. hehehehe

  15. hi! thank you for visiting our blog. it’s nice to know that you are blogging too.

  16. you should listen to your friends. they know how to give good advice. btw, thanks for visiting our food blog. hope you drop by more often.

  17. i better not say anything…
    wala akong dapat sabihin…
    alam mo na rin naman kung ano ang sasabihin ko…

    kaya mo iyan!

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