Staring Blankly

When you’re on top on success of success and you find out that the people closest to you are at the bottom, how would you feel?

Would you throw a rope to help them up? Or you’ll just stare at them while rejoicing, waiting for someone else to help them up?

Would you be firm enough to hold onto them towards a cliff to assist them mounting knowing that a wrong touch could leave them falling?

Imagine playing “Tag of War”, in which your opponent has your Best friend as a front liner. How would you exert your best effort to help your team won when you knew that’s going to burry your best friend down? On the contrary, how would you let your team loose when the dominion of your buddies is as important as to the one on the other side?

It is an imitation of guilt that arises, a refraction of an image, falling out like a broken mirror. Akin to a silk covering a wounded body; delivering a foolish assault of what’s enclosed.

Last Saturday was the moment everybody has been afraid of, same date everybody is praying for, the date of our Qualifying Examination. It is an all-out practice of all Accounting Colleges to conduct a yearly based examination. It is developed to filter deserving accounting students who could still pursue their chosen course.  Failing would mean a great hindrance to achieve once goal; “ The CPA title”

It was a fine day for me to start with; wearing all-red attire makes me rise above the clumping crowd I mumble as I reached the classroom door, still praying until the last minute.

Knowing I am prepared for this exam, pressure is an alien to me. I don’t have any single differing point that could lead to an idea of ‘failing’. As the test papers where distributed I stare blankly at one side of the corridor, giving myself an enormous second to claim; “I would be this years Topnotch.

Afternoon, same date, Top Notches list were posted, my name was listed first. No bizarre feeling was introduced and I wonder why. Having the spot I’ve wished so long should make me jump to so much joy, But none a bliss filters.


~ ni tina sa Oktubre 15, 2009.

4 Tugon to “Staring Blankly”

  1. Congratulations! Tough Luck! Just keep it going!

  2. hmm..maybe because you just know what you deserve.. 😀 so hindi na naging surpresa kung naging first ka sa were also trapped between relishing your success and worrying for those unfortunate ones kaya medyo indifferent ka.. 😐

  3. Very interesting.

  4. Kumusta! Nagkataon lang na napadpad ako sa site mo, baka pwede na rin kitang ibilang sa mga respondents para sa thesis namin. Our topic is entitled: “TRIVIAL BLOGGING: A USES AND GRATIFICATIONS INQUIRY ABOUT IDENTITY PRESENTATION THROUGH THE BLOGGING PRACTICES OF YOUNG YOUNG PROFESSIONALS IN MANILA.” Kung willing ka magsagot ng online survey, maraming salamat! I’ll get your email address and you can send your reply through (my) e-mail address: SALAMAT NG MARAMI! –KT

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